Hey Momma

10 things you shouldn't write home about from Australia :

1. Australian men really like American girls.

2. The university has a bar on campus.

3. There are free condoms at the health clinic.

4. The beaches here are topless.

5. They don't care if you go skinny dipping in the ocean.

6. I wear nothing but thongs down here. All day, everyday.

7. I stayed in a hostel last night with six people I didn't know.

8.The drinking age here is 18 so I don't have to use my fake id anymore.

9. I've really perfected my pole dancing skills at this place called The Shack since being here.

10. I'd get 3,000 dollars if I have a kid in Australia.

Cockroaches and the End of the World

So last night, I spent about an hour thinking about cockroaches. The cucaracha, cafard, or Kakerlak. Have you ever wondered why people are afraid of them? I mean, they don't bite, they don't sting, they're not that little, they just move really fast. I'm beginning to think that they're alot smarter than people give them credit for. I wouldn't be surprised if they have a language. Like have you ever wondered how the whole "don't step on a cockroach cause you'll spread it's eggs" teaching came about? Do you remember hearing about this on the news? Or seeing it for yourself? Who told you about this in the first place? I'd be willing to bet that cockroaches started the rumor themselves. The conversation went like this: (insert mexican accent cause it's just funnier that way)
"Eh man, don't you think we should find a way to keep our little hombres from getting squashed?"
" Man, I will crawl up in a chiquita's ear tonight and whisper that if you step on us, we spread eggs."
"That is such a good idea. Now let's go visit the trash outside taco bell."

The aussie cockroaches sounded much like this but they called each other mate and the plan took about four years longer to complete.

I mean they are so well evolved that it's been rumored that they can survive nuclear holocaust. As to whether or not I believe this, the verdict's still out, but it wouldn't surprise me.
Here're some cockroach facts:
The world's largest roach (which lives in South America) is six inches long with a one-foot wingspan.
Roaches By the Numbers
6 -- Number of legs on a cockroach
18 -- Number of knees on most cockroaches
40-- Number of minutes cockroaches can hold their breath
75 -- Percentage of time that cockroaches spend just resting
5,000 -- Number of species of cockroaches worldwide 280 million+ -- Years ago that cockroaches are thought to have originated (during the Carboniferous period, about 350 million years ago. These ancient cockroaches were able to fly and were probably the first flying animals.)

A cockroach can live a week without its head. The roach only dies because without a mouth, it can't drink water and dies of thirst.

Cockroaches can run up to three miles in an hour.

Young cockroaches need only a crack as thin as a dime (about .5mm wide) to crawl into. Adult males can squeeze into a space of 1.6mm or the thickness of a quarter. Pregnant females need the most space to hide: 4.5mm or a space as tall as two stacked nickels.

A cockroach heart is nothing but a simple tube with valves. The tube can pump blood backwards and forwards in the insect. The heart can even stop moving without harming the roach.

Roaches can live without food for a month, but will only survive a week without water.

Most species of roaches live in the tropics. But roaches live all over the world, including the North and South Poles. Pest cockroachs can withstand temperatures as cold as 32°F (0°C), but will die if the temperature goes much below that. In extremely cold places, however, they survive by moving in with humans.

Cockroaches can climb walls because they are equipped with a set of little claws on their feet designed for that very purpose.

Crushed cockroaches can be applied to a stinging wound to help relieve the pain.

Roaches use their feelers, or antennae, as noses. Their sense of smell is so great, they recognize family and friends by their distinctive odors.

Male cockroaches transfer sperm to females in a "gift-wrapped" package called a spermatophore. Some males cover the package in a protein-rich wrapping that the female can eat to obtain nutrients to raise her young.

Oh, and one more fact... If you see a styrofoam cup with a name on it moving around campus, don't pick it up. I've drunkenly captured a cockroach and named it. Afterall, you're not supposed to step on them, it'll spread the eggs... man.

It's big and hairy and in my room

There's a big freakin spider in my rooom. I want to kill it but I'm afraid that a. it will eat me if I miss b. I will fall while trying to get it off the ceiling or c. I will fall trying to get it and it will eat me. So, I'm going to write and hope that it stays there and doesn't decide to move.

So, classes started on monday. They don't seem too bad. My Sensation and Perception class is going to be a bitch and a half, and my statistics is going to be a bit rough, but they both should be interesting. I'm taking french 2 and 3 at the moment, trying to decide which one I belong in. Because although I can do passe compose and le futur, I can't tell you what year I was born in or my alphabet. Gotta just play it by ear I guess. And how can I forget to mention my Love Sex and Relationships class! It may be may favorite class during college. I mean we spent our first tutorial thinking of colloquial terms for, masturbation, penis, vagina, homosexual, heterosexual, and anal sex. I think besides being fun, it will be interesting information. I like that it will be an open forum for many different ideas about sex and love and how different cultures and different upbringings approach these formally taboo subjects. Not only that, I've always had an interest in reproductive sciences. I also have the experience from coop which should be a good start as far as when we cover contraception and abortion and anatomy.

The spider hasn't moved. I wonder if I can kill it with hairspray.

So, we have a few trips booked thus far:
Great Keppel Island
Camp Fraser Island
Great Barrier Reef and Whitsundays
Rainforest Jungle Camp
Thailand, although the dates may have to change for it

I would also like to go to Sydney and New Zealand, but I have to see when Erin can come and if we can move dates for Thailand. I also am wary of missing class because I need to get straight As this semester. Like no joke, it's not an option. Hopefully the warm weather will keep me motivated and I'll study by the pool or something. I guess one of my goals is to learn to prioritize as far as school work and going out while here.

I wish I had some vegemite cause I'm sure that shit doubles as insect repellant and is more powerful than raid. I can see the commercial now, some hiker smearing it on himself in the rainforest and then using it on his toast. Multifunctional and delicious.

Speaking of vegemite, my brother better watch out cause I'm bringing some home and telling him it's the best stuff since sliced bread and that you're supposed to squeeze it in your mouth straight from the tube. Wicked, I know, but I've been trying to get him back for years for punching me in the lip before prom.

So this brings me to confession-o-s. 25 questions, one video camera, and a bunch of wine. Trouble. I was kinda disappointed that mine was a bit boring (because I go off on so many tangents all the freaking time), and you could barely hear me, but I'll do it better next time and with some more booze.
Here's what we learned:
1. Andrew and Katie or Lily and Lathum are going to hook up
2. I'm going to get arrested for public indecency
(Convo on video--
-"Who will get arrested?"
-"Katy cause she's so quiet, ad it's always the quiet ones that do some crazy thing"
-"What about Candice?"
-"Well she's the obvious choice")
or that Ryan would get arrested because he's got such shit luck
3. most people would like to go bungee jumping or sky diving while here
4. Lily, me, Ryan and Tara will probably get tatoos
5. The fountain is where everyone would have sex if they're guaranteed not to get caught
6. We're on a trip with some kinky motherfuckers
7. Rob is a nut case with a video camera

And after we watched the video, Rob woke up from his wine induced coma, and started roaming the halls trying to look for a bathroom. Lily and I tried to help, but got bitch slapped. So then he walks into some random unlocked room and then we've lost him. They eventually found him while smoking as he was coming out of a stairwell, but I thought for sure as I was going home that he was going to prove everyone wrong on who'll be the first to get arrested.

Maybe I should just leave the spider alone and move my bed away from the wall so it can't snuggle next to me in the middle of the night.

I'm saving the best part of this trip so far for last. The NU people that I've come with. I knew quite a few, like woberrrt, Johanna, Jackie, Betsy, and sort of Ryan, so I thought that I could have a hard time getting to know anyone else, but it hasn't been like that at all. Everyone is so approachable and easy to get along with, you can't help but have a good time. Tara and Lily are two girls that I've hung out with a bunch so far, and are just amazing and so fun to be around. I've gotta admit, I was bit intimidated because they're already such good friends, but they've been nothing but friendly and a blast to be around. Ryan, although I know him through Katie, is someone I can't believe I haven't known till now. We've been at parties together, and yet I've never really talked to him. Rob, Ryan and I got tanked on one of the first nights here and we all had a deeper conversation and he was more open that I've know more than half my friends to be. This whole crew is just so fantastic to be around, and have surpassed my expectations. Like Kristen, who I thought would be reserved and quiet, totally not, and I love it! Or like Monya, who I thought would be a bit hard to approach, is not at all! But, and yes I'm going to be a cheeseball and trite for a moment, I've learned that you can't judge a book by it's cover.

Alright, I think that's enough for now, I'm going to move my bed, clean up a bit, smoke and ogto bed. Tomorrow is the book sale and pub crawl (starting at 2 pm, yikes!), so I better get my rest.

Wanna see my snatchie?

Alright, so I've made it to Australia in one piece. Albeit, one drunken piece, but I'm here. So far I've started a journal, which after rereading, I've decided is abit too personal and like a diary. So here I am breaking the hymen of my blogging experience.

Getting acclimated to this culture was so easy. All during the study abroad predeparture meeting, they talked about culture shock and being homesick and yadda yadda. But really, I've had none of that. Well, I guess with the exception of the beginning of the plane ride on qantas where I had a bit of a break down before takeoff and cried my heart out. But that was needed, I'd pent up a lot of my emotions about leaving for awhile, so it was good to have out. But, back to Aussie culture. They're unbelievably nice. I catch myself still in Boston mode, looking like someone may rob or shank me at any moment, or that you don't look or smile at anyone, but I need to knock it off. Customer service is fabulous here, the person will actually talk to you and not just be like yea yea buhbye. Well, the exception of this one cunty bus driver. bleh. But, even on my first day of class I had a girl offer me the needed software and she didn't even know my name!

The culture is so laid back too! I mean, these are people who say 'no worries' and really mean it. As KOB said, if they were any more laid back, they'd fall over. The language is a bit weird to get used to, but it's little things.
Common Differences:
French Fries = Chips
Shrimp= Prawns
BBQ= Sausage Sizzle
Ticket= Dockett
You're Welcome= No Worries
Cow Shit in a Tube= Vegemite

Also, -ie is added after everything or the word is shortened. Bond Student becomes 'bondie' and university becomes 'uni' and afternoon becomes 'avo.' This is because, as the girl at orientation put it, "some words are just too long to say." Gotta love it. I guess since my nickname here is 'snatchbasket' I've become snatchie. Cute.

Also, I've learned that fanny pack is bad to say.