Dreams, Bombs and Self-Diagnosis with a healthy serving of bugs.

So I just woke up to a yellow sky. I don't mean sunshine yellow, I mean sickly ghastly gross Starbucks egg shirt colored yellow. I just lifted my head up and looked out the window and thought that I was still dreaming. I sat up, looked around, pinched myself and nope, not dreaming. So my next thought was, uh oh, I have jaundice... so not cool. But then I'm like, I think that if I had jaundice my skin would turn yellow, but I doubt that my eyes would cloud over with a yellow haze. So my next thought was that a bomb had gone off. You know, it looked kinda like pictures you see on CNN or the History Channel about war stories. If the bomb had gone off, my mother would be proven right... a bomb had gone off next to my head and I had not woken up. But then I corrected myself that it probably looked yellow on tv because it was shot in a desert not the middle of a Chicago suburb. So now I'm sitting here, looking out the window, wondering what the hell has caused this yellow color. It's kind of like the lights from the El across the street have multiplied and are now coloring their world in their particularly unusual tint. It's starting to lift, but I'm not sure that I want to go running if it's yellow out. There's gotta be something wrong with this particular hue. Something that causes the sky to be yellow, cannot be good for your lungs. I wish I could better describe the sky right now, but it's just yellow. Gross yellow.

On another note, I have bugs. Some people have dogs, some people have cats, I have bugs. First I was the ant lady. They were biting me in my bed, mocking me from my ceiling, crawling into my bookbag and crawling on my legs. I on many occasions have seen them fall out of my stuff and onto the floor in chem lab and at work. They were coming out of the wall. I mean, seriously, have you ever seen ants coming out of a hole in the wall and marching a large scale parade down your walls and windows? Well I have, and let me tell you, that after a week of chasing them around wearing nothing but a pink mini robe and a towel on my head with a vaccuum in one hand and a roll of toilet paper in the other- I was not amused by the ant parade. So I followed the ants around, moved some furniture, figured out that hairspray is not a great ant repellent but it's a good ant propellant and finally found where the ants were marching on from... my window sill. There was a teeny tiny hole and they were all filing out of it. So I grabbed my tp and smushed them all. I took down my curtains and smushed all the ants on there too. I then decided that packing tape solves all problems and hairsprayed the hole and then put packing tape over it. It may sound ridiculous, but it worked. Theeeennn, I found silverfish. I woke up one morning to pee, and found a little silverfish crawling on the floor. Oh great, these things are like coachroaches... where there's one, there's 10 million and they love to come out when it's warm. I also found the mother of all silverfish on my ceiling. I killed it, and it only took the power of the pink robe, jacked up hair, some tp taped to the end of a broom, and a little screaming that it was going to fall on my face.

Now, guess what Erin and I are finding. Earwigs. Yes, the little creatures that I had found on Fraser Island and had my amusing little stupid American story about have come back to haunt me. And Erin. I found one in my shoe going to work. I don't know if you've ever seen one, but they are one of the grossest bugs that I've ever seen. They are almost on the same level as coachroaches. It's the little pinchers on their butts that add that extra bit of disturbing nature to them. I don't believe for a second that they're harmless. If I had those pinchers on my butt, I would for sure use them for evil over good. I'd be pinching people and running after them all the time. Are you to have me believe that this little bug is not going to use those things to protect itself when a crazy pink robed lady is coming at it with the death paper?? Come on.

Alright, so now it's raining. I really am not going running.